Wednesday, January 12, 2011

When is man flu really flu

Brendan had a stinking cold that he kindly passed on to me, obviously he spent two days in bed and felt really crappy, but he is a bit bemused how my stinking cold can now be considered to have been a bout of flu and not just 'man-flu'.

OK - the science bit first - I am a woman and therefore I cannot catch man flu!

But here is my quick reference guide for symptoms of real flu:

You don't need to worry about quick starting your diet because you cannot anything eat for about 48 hours.

You can skip the detox part of a diet because all you can manage for 3 days is litres and litres of water and the occasional hot lemon soluble paracetamol drink.

You are asleep for about 20 hours out of 24.

Of the four hours you are awake you are coughing so much you are in danger of depositing a lung on the floor.

When everyone else is hot you are shivering and when they complain of the cold you think you have been magically transported to the equator.

You have LSD inspired dreams without the spooky flashbacks months later.

You see the doctor after 12 hours of flu strength over the counter remedies and your temperature is still 39.7°C.

There you go - if you have those symptoms - you have flu. If you can still manage to pack away some left over Christmas choccies and a sneaky turkey sandwich while snivelling over day time TV - you have a stinking cold.

Ferguson settles in to be my hot water bottle for another 12 hour stint - he is so selfless in his devotion to my care.
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