Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Its all about the paper...

With some rainy weather having set in today, and my poor thirsty garden getting a good drink, but also no fruit picking or harvesting going on I was not sure what to set to today, when I answered my own project dilemma by unpacking some of the card stocks I sent back to myself from the UK.

Having sat at my desk yesterday for the first time in a long time, I sat back down there today and took a good look around and realised that as with most things in this house, I have at least a year's supply of bits and bobs to make cards with, and so instead of bemoaning the fact constantly that I never have a card to hand these days I got on with making some.

My stocks replenished and a few extra for Etsy.

Why do I have so much stuff though?

Is it normal to carry enough stock of an item to last 12 months?

Or a lifetime - I mean I must have enough bed linen and towels to last an average family 20 years, which either means I was very canny and bought them all on sale for bargain prices before leaving my salaried life in the UK to come and live on fresh air and home grown produce in rural France (which I did - buy lots of stuff on sale in the UK knowing my salary was going to drop into my bank account at the end of each and every month); or it means I am an insane hoarder who cannot physically or mentally cope with life knowing that there are NO SPARE TOWELS!!!

I am going for the latter obviously, insanity seems closer to the truth.

My whole house is buldging at the seams with the seventeen million things that I feel that I must own in order to stave off Armageddon.  If the four horsemen of the Apocalypse turn up here, I can offer them a cup-a-soup in any flavour they fancy, an aperatif in any variety of fruit, as well as knit them a pair of socks in a colour of their choice,  and in addition feel sure that I can offer them any conceivable genre of reading material while they wait, they can have a duvet each, summer or winter tog, invite all their mates round for nibbles and drinks and I will still have enough glasses, plates and cutlery to go round, and stay for the winter because I have enough food in for a seige.

Why can't I own just one of anything, why must I have two, or preferably three, just in case one breaks, and to be honest I was never sure about the colour of the first one and they do them in green now with additional attachments so perhaps it is not unwise to invest in another one of them and it will just wedge in that cupboard over there just as long as you only open the door with a cushion on the floor to catch the oddments that will inevitably fall out because that cupboard like all the others is overflowing with accoutrements.

Was I bought up to hoard?  How can you tell? When I look back at my childhood I can't see any moment there when someone said 'When you grow up don't forget to only buy toilet rolls in bulk packs of 18, and preferably when they are buy one get one free - because it would be a very very very very very bad thing to run out - so pick up four packs just in case'.  (When we moved to France in the scabby lorry we had enough toilet rolls for the three of us for a whole year - that's right, I did not buy one single pack of bog rolls in twelve months - because I bought them all with me, hundreds of miles across the British Channel in the lorry).

I am after all the woman with 200 pairs of shoes.  And yes - I have worn each and every pair at least once.  And yes - I can remember what each pair looks like.  And yes - of course cerise pink stilletoes are perfect for gardening!

But do I really need 350 biros - just because they were conference freebies?

So my larder is crammed with food, my cupboards are overflowing with crockery, I have enough bedding and towels for 20 people - anyone would think I was running a hotel, or preparing to be beseiged.

Hang on...

... I hear the chink of horses' hooves on the drive - right o - better get knitting those socks for Pestilence, I have just enough pink eyelash wool now for his skinny size 9s.


resa said...

This isn't perfectly normal? Well, when the inevitable fall of civilization occurs at least I won't be forced to use bits of shrubs as bedding. Please don't tell me that there's no upcoming fall of civilization, then I'll have to rethink all my cunning contingency plans (and find something to do with all my stuff.)

And if cerise pink stilettos are wrong for gardening then I don't want to be right.

Murphyfish said...

I can relate to the hoarding, my garage is bulging with stuff that'll never see the light of day, but throw it out? Mmmmm I've wrestled with the idea of a clean out but every item may come in handy - one day. Love the idea of the horse riding four in pink knitted socks....

Diane said...

I am like this too - and so is my mother!! I think it could be a hereditary problem - so not youer fault!! AND why is it that the very week you do eventually throw something away - you need it!!!!

Damn The Broccoli said...

I come from a line of hoarders, and many the time has been after a clear out I suddenly have to go and buy something I threw away not more than a fortnight ago having kept it for several years.

I have tins filled with whatnots and all manner of nick nackery and other assorted gubbins. It will all be useful honest!

With me though I am sure it is hereditary. My grandad was a farmer who served with the engineers in World war the sequel and his job was basically to keep the machines running no matter what. On his farm he had three tractors. Two that worked and one that was a little donor for everything the other two could need. They weren't even the same sort, Grandad could just get anything working from anything. So nothing that may have use was thrown out.

Enough varied literature and towels to see you to the end of the universe? Belgium!