Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Daughter stolen by the pod people
The Daily Blog Enquirer has today learnt of a worrying new phenomenon. Teenage girls being spirited away and replaced by docile facsimiles that are identical in apprearance but display hitherto unencountered fashionista characteristics and to all intents and purposes have had their Primark genes completely removed.
We interviewed Mrs Absinthe Fairy, who appears to be one of the first traumatised mothers now coping with their new pod daughter.
"We were just cruising around a fabric shop, you know the sort of thing, rolls of cottons, and jersey, some voiles, some tulles, just a normal shop really" Mrs Fairy told us, "and she was behaving quite normally, flouncing, and proclaiming she was bored and demanding a trip to McDonalds, teenager-y things, when it happened."
"I was just stood there, looking at some reduced rolls of poly mix cottons, when she said it", Mrs Fairy's eyes fill with unshed tears and she clutches at her glass of red wine with near desperation, "bold as brass it was, I have never been so shocked in all my life, she just came out with it - 'Mum, can you make me a dress?'."
At this point Mrs Fairy lost her composure and sobbed openly into her hands, "Well its obvious isn't it, she's been replaced by a pod person!".